A Letter To My Self Esteem….

I am going to pick your brains today and ask you to read this statement, and think about whether or not you agree –In a world that profits from our self doubt, loving ourselves is a defiant act.  Once you decide if you agree, think about how unfortunately true this is for us as society, both males and females.

All the diets, all the fads, the workout routines, the health shakes…. We have grown this industry so magnificently because of our continuous self doubt, self hate, and self consciousness. Of course, these businesses have also saved people’s lives, pushed people to healthier lives, and helped them lose unhealthy weight. But how powerful it must be for the health/wellness industry to know that as long as our body image continues to suffer, they are in business. As long as social media pushes perfection as reality, our self-esteem suffers and we continue to doubt ourselves.

You see, under the ‘chub rub’ between my thighs, beneath my tummy fat that jiggles when I run, and aside from the little fat roll that is created by my bra strap, is a very healthy woman. A woman who loves healthy proteins, who loves fruits and vegetables, and loves working out. A woman who does enjoy a beer from time to time, fast food, and sugary treats, but cannot enjoy these things without a little guilt sneaking in reminding me that when I eat this I will not be perfect. Underneath what you see on the surface is a woman who works hard and plays hard, and is grateful for her life.  But through her constant self doubt, she forgets about this other healthy and happy side that does not need the world to reassure or judge her based on how she looks.

But how can we feel good about ourselves when we are constantly reminded of how we are supposed to look through social media and what is considered beautiful in society? That constant reminder that to be beautiful means we need to be unrealistically perfect. This makes me sad not only for myself, but for all men and women striving for this unrealistic view of beautiful. There is nothing beautiful about being perfect. Perfect is boring, and it’s impossible.

When I research and find that being 145 pounds at 26 years old is almost considered overweight, I get discouraged.  I know how healthy,  muscular, and curvy I am, but some days that is not enough. How can that be, though, that I’m 145 pounds and almost considered overweight, for someone who spends 5 days a week doing vigorous workouts and enjoys my protein shakes and spinach? Through the constant reminders of what beautiful is supposed to look like, I forget about the beauty of who I am sometimes…. a lot of the times. And I bet many of you have had these same thoughts and questions.

I want you all to remember:

1. Understand that what social media portrays is typically unrealistic. It is airbrushed, it is fake, and it is too perfect. We all know this, so we can all push back on this need to be perfect! Our significant others all know this too and do not expect perfection from us. A positive partner will want us to feel good about ourselves and be healthy.
2. Quit reading the magazines, the fad diets, and trying to look like perfection. This is stressful and reassures our inability to be as perfect as society tells us to be. Do not strive to look like a celebrity, strive to look like YOU!
3. Do what makes you happy, and ask yourself if you are living a realistic lifestyle. Can you maintain your diet and exercise? It is healthy, and do you feel good about it? It’s okay to enjoy some carbs, candy, and beer sometimes, we all deserve a break.
4. Feel sexy. What can you do that makes you feel like the sexy little sex kitten that you are?! Is it wearing lingerie, even if you’re the only one who sees it? Is it working out? Do this whenever possible, and tell yourself how beautiful/handsome you are!
5. There is nothing sexier than someone who is confident in the bedroom, and looks do not need to dictate your attitude in the bedroom.
6. Focus on your accomplishments. Remind yourself every day of what your accomplishments are, and what you’re internally proud of.
7. Spend time with supportive people…. This is huge! Having supportive, loving, and healthy people in your life will provide a more positive outlook on life.
8. You have to put the work in. If you do want change, and you do want to be healthier, it takes some work. You must be willing to change parts of your lifestyle, and you must be patient through the process. It is hard! Physically, mentally, and emotionally hard.
9. What is love? Is it looks, is it materialistic things? Of course not! You did not come to love your friends and significant other because of how they look, it is because of who they are. And people love you for who you are, and not how you look.
10. Know that you’re enough. You are good enough for you! You do not need to prove yourself to anyone. You do not need to impress anyone but yourself. BeYOUtiful.

Happiness is found when you stop comparing yourself to others~

-keep shining

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